Memories. They make us laugh when we are sad or cry when happy. What are these crazy little things? I think of them as visions, a projection from a moment in time that somehow, through the motions of life, got imprinted in your mind. Forever. The funny thing about memories, though, is that they’re the only things someone has when a person that they dearly loved is no more. Those little visions, imprints, projections become a thread that one holds on to; forgetting that if you pull too hard, all you will end up with is pain.
Why am I writing this? Well, it’s a mild OCD that compels me to write Exactly when a thought hits me and the words begin to swim around my brain. So, here I am, sitting on my bed at 2 a.m. under the beautiful beam of my HTC smartphone flashlight, writing in my old journal all the words that have taken over coherent thought because a memory about a recently deceased aunt got triggered by a scene from We Bought a Zoo (Not going to elaborate for fear of spoilers. Great movie, by the way. Do watch it!).
I realised a beautiful, wonderfully simple thing – If you try to think of your dearly departed as someone frozen in time in a picture, as words from a note, lines from a postcard, as a piece of jewellery or what have you; you need to STOP! These were people; breathing, smiling, laughing and full of goodness, surely you cannot lock them up in something as inanimate as a walking stick! Instead, you need to allow yourself to think of how they were – moving, laughing, running, talking, maybe even embarrassing the hell out of you! It is only then that you will slowly learn to let go. Yes, you will realise that they aren’t around to do all of these with you but were there for several more. It will hurt. A Lot. However, you will be respecting and remembering them for what they were and not as a shadow that exists no more. Soon, these little glimpses in the pool of memories will light up your face with a ghost of a smile. Why? At a subconscious level your mind will no longer associate these recollections as something that will elicit feelings of anguish, loss or longing. Instead, they will be deemed as a gift from your loved ones – those silly, beautiful things we call a memory!