A Quarter Down

Dear Me,

I’ve just finished cleaning some lovely rainbow cake off my face, thanks to the benevolence and love of our friends (more on them later). So, you’ve just completed a quarter of the average human life expectancy. Excellent. Let’s hold the congratulations just yet; you and I need to talk, if we’re to go ahead with this whole “adulting” business. My run today, gave me clarity; allow me…

Remember the mini-meltdown you had a few days ago when you realized that in five years, you’re going to turn 30 (Captain Obvious). It wasn’t age, you don’t care about that bit. What scared you was not getting to where you want to be, in terms of accomplishments. Life has a way of never shaping out the way you want it to. That’s why it’s such a thrill to simply go from one day to the next. Five years ago, when you were slaving it off in Microbiology class, struggling with O-chem and lugging fat books to and fro, did you even think it possible to have a job that not only sustains you pretty comfortably, but also be able to provide for an adorable cat? Did you even think said cat would be a reality? Or that you’ll be wise enough to know how important savings are? Get to travel and make plans- both big and small? Heck, you were skeptical to even wear makeup! Look at you now, your eye-liner game is totally pro and you rock lipsticks from muted pinks to bright, sassy reds! I’m just getting started here…

Sure, you’ve made mistakes, burned several bridges and made choices that set a cringe-fest rolling. There are instances where you’ve held on to relationships that had run their course. You’ve also said a few words that have left a bitter taste in people’s mouths and have been on the receiving end of that party too. Because of all these experiences, you have a filter in place. There is now a bunch in your life friends that accept you as you are. People that effectively blur the lines between friendship and family. Hold on to them, make memories and cherish them, they are way more precious than all the world’s treasures. You have integrity; you have real, legitimate deal-breakers and a fierce loyalty that makes you a wonderful friend. Do not beat yourself up if you mess up, because you will, a lot – for as long as you live. Make sure you have a lesson to take away from it every time, that’s the only way it will hurt a little less.

You’ve dealt with agony, heartache, loss and despair in quick succession. But here you are, laughing loudly about all of those things that caused your eyes to turn into rivers not so long ago. That is your catharsis and I am proud of you. I do not wish for you to go through all that pain again, but if you do, remember, you’ll be okay. Eventually, you’ll be okay. You’re too stubborn to let it consume you. If not, there are friends to hug, books to read or some really cool stuff on the internet that your eager mind will consume. Of course, there are workouts to do, runs to complete and endorphins…basically feel like a Spartan when you do finish a grueling hour on the mat. 😉

I’m aware it bothers you that right now, you’re jobless, in the conservative sense of the term. And it’s natural to worry, overthink and stress a little bit. From where I stand, you’re using this time to hone your craft through freelance. You’re finding your voice, giving an outlet to words trapped inside. Feeding that fire to better yourself and get where you want to, in the years to come. You’ve figured what you want; mostly- now go get it. I have a feeling an adventure awaits. Your time has just begun. Happy Birthday. 🙂

 Started from the bottom, now we here ;) Started from the bottom, now we here 😉

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